Pill Salesman Seeks Profound Princess

It was late and I wasn’t sure if anyone was going to talk to me because I looked disheveled and unapproachable in my dirty sweatpants, but the charming Vladimir Papian didn't seem to mind. I met him behind in La Crescenta; he had the special something, and I knew he was the perfect candidate for the latest Singled Out. 

Name: Vladimir Papian

Age: 26

Occupation: Pharmacist

Current Location:

Relationship Status: Single

Interested In: A royal chef

What are you doing here this time of night? 

I work in the area. I deliver . And I like to have drinks here with friends after work sometimes. They have a good at Whisperz.

What kind of stuff do you sell? 

Prescription drugs. All legal.

That's a relief. Someone could you, no? 

Yeah, I suppose they could!

Your boss must trust you. Who are your clientele? 

mostly.

What is your background?

Armenian. Both of my parents are Armenian.

Are you ?

For the moment … yes.

Are you looking for love?

Not one bit.

A girlfriend some day?

If it’s the right one.

How would you know if she were the right one?

Not specifically from her appearance, but I would know by the overall quality she has. The essence of life that she has.

Do you have high standards?

Not really. There are certain standards that I want.

What would be the top three qualities she must have?

She has to know how to cook. She definitely has to have .

Like the Royal Family.

And she has to be very and profound in a relationship. Profound enough to say that she loves me unconditionally, and it’s not a fling. She needs to be sure. And if the chemistry is not there, what's the point? 

I do see your point. But I am not sure if that was the correct usage of the word "profound." 

Profound, passionate. You know ...

Do you?

I think so.

What should she cook?

I don’t care as long as she knows her way around a kitchen.

Like where the microwave is ... where the can opener is ... what is your favorite dish?

. (phone rings).

Who is calling you?

My pops.

What do you think he wants?

To know where I am.

Is it past your ?

Yeah, basically.

(laughs) Did you go to school?

I went to and a few colleges.

Do you have any goals or aspirations?

Of course I do. Who doesn't?

I don't.

Everyone wants to be remembered for something ... profound.

Nice usage.

Thanks.

What is your sign?

Scorpio.

Is it true what they say?

No. I am the opposite of my sign.

Good to know. Anything you want to add?

Yes. Everything happens for a reason. The end result is always good ... even if it's bad. And you’ve been lovely, by the way.

Thanks! Do you want one day?

When the time is right.

How long was your longest relationship?

Six months.

How was it?

Profound.

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