Guitar Soloist Seeks Sarcastic Groupie

While trying to hone my social skills by searching for the latest Real Housewives DVD at the (can you believe they didn’t have it?), I was fortunate enough to meet David Mazzarri, musician extraordinaire, strumming some beautiful tunes nearby. At first, I thought he was reading some sort of contemporary fiction, the kind that confuses you on the first page. And then I remembered, don’t read! They play and write and do creative things that I only dream of. But when it came to being single, this guitar-toting charmer knew just how to string along his dates—without ever remembering a name.

Name: David Mazzarri

Age: 31 

Occupation: Musician

Current Location:  

Relationship Status: Single

Interested In: Smart, funny and pretty with a sarcastic edge.

A musician, are you?

Did the guitar give it away? Yes. I actually just recorded my first album in Miami.

What kind of music do you play?

It’s very hard to describe. It’s basically pop. I have a verse and a hook. I do some rock. The album is in Spanish, but I have one song in English, which is a country song.

I didn’t see that coming. 

I did a cover for The Zero Hour, which is in the opening titles. But I also wrote a song for the film. It’s called “Si, Soy Yo.” We recently shot a video for the song, which will be out sometime soon. I also have a song in Sunset Junction: The Musical and the soundtrack for that film is going to be released this year.

Oh. Are you gonna to be the next Ricky Martin?

No.

You mean you’re not gonna come out?

No. And I don’t dance either. I will stick with playing the guitar and singing. No light shows and . I have to find a way to promote the album because I don’t want to go with a label. I’ve shot two music videos. My last video was directed and edited by Otto Scheuren, one of the best in the business. He did The Zero Hour, too.

Would you ever audition for American Idol?

You mean if I was within the age group?

Yes.

No.

Are you ?

Yes.

Do you date?

Yeah, I do.

What are the top three qualities you look for in a woman?

She has to be smart, pretty and fun. Sarcastic would be nice. 

Where’s your favorite spot to take dates?

You mean the library isn't a good place?

Well, you did say she had to be smart … 

Going out with the intention of meeting people never works. But I go out a lot and I date a lot. I’m totally open to falling in love, you just never know. I like the outdoors, and going on . I’m pretty normal when it comes to dating. I like to talk and get to know a person. 

That’s unusual. Do you always pay on a date?

Yes, I pay the first time. It’s nice to know that the girl is attempting to pay, though.

Any past serious relationships?

Yes. I recently got out of a five year relationship. We actually lost a lot of together because we drove each other crazy. Nobody was eating in that house. 

Sounds like a great diet plan. I have tried that one myself. Do you have a nightmare dating story?

Not eating is not nightmarish enough? I do have one story, but maybe I shouldn’t say. 

Don’t worry. No one reads my column.

I met this girl at a party and I was talking to her and getting to know her. And then I saw her at another party and we hung out some more. And I ran into a third time at a and we were talking and all night long. It was great. And when I went to drive her home, we pulled up at her place, I asked for her phone number and she was watching me punch it into my phone when I realized I couldn’t remember her name.

That’s horrible! That makes you a really horrible person.

(Laughs) It was so embarrassing. I date quite a bit. I’m just very picky. 

That’s just a fancy word for a commitment phobe. Only kidding. Do you ever want to get ?

Someday, yes. I think so. I definitely want to have , too. But, of course, I want to wait for the right moment.

Do you have any advice out there for ?

Advice? I thought you were going to give me advice.

Ok. Don’t let people on the street interview you.

That’s your advice?

No. But if your side matches your musical side, you should have no problem getting the girl in the end.

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