End of the World May 21st: The Essential Rapture Survival Guide

Harold Camping says the rapture is coming May 21. Here’s what you need in case Judgment Day is truly upon us.

89-year-old California pastor Harold Camping, the founder of Family Radio Worldwide, claims that the rapture is coming Saturday, May 21, 2011 and that the world will officially end Oct. 21, 2011. Camping’s basing this on a complex ("made up") mathematical formula that even Will Hunting couldn’t solve. (Yes, I realize Hunting is a fictional character, but at this point, I’m not convinced Camping is real either.)

For some reason, perhaps a slow news cycle, respected media outlets are giving Camping’s prediction ample ink.  I thought it was only appropriate to weigh in with a few helpful hints to make it through the weekend.

We’ll find out by the end of the day if Camping’s math adds up. And just in case he’s right, here are five Judgment Day necessities that you should pick up to prepare for the big day.

1. Toilet paper – Obviously. Stock up at one of our .

2. Water - Another no-brainer. Hydration is a staple of any good rapture gameplan. 

3. Music and Books – The album The Listening by the Canadian pop artist Lights is required rapture listening, especially because it will bring so many spacey, synth sounds to your ears. As for books, the selections abound at and . 

4. Sweatpants – If the world’s going down, might as well get comfortable. Marshall's on Verdugo Rd. will probably have some great prices on sweat pants. 

5. Shake Weight - The world may be ending but that doesn't mean you need to stop caring about your health. With the Shake Weight, you can get strong and sculpted arms that will be the talk of the post-apocalyptic dating scene.

Alright, you’re all set. No go out there and give ‘em he--! Er…. or something.

Chris May 22, 2011 at 03:51 PM
As a Christian, I am far from perfect and am taught to focus on my own shortcomings and to not judge people for their own. It seems that many Christians today would rather focus their time on focusing on everyone else's problems rather than fixing their own. I wish that many would take a step back to look at themselves before "casting stones" at non-believers or even at other denominations within the realm of Christianity. I realize that just by posting this that I am contradicting myself, but we, as Christians, have a responsibility to share the Gospel with the world and to show others the love of Jesus Christ through our actions and love for them, regardless of anything they have done. The day that the church relinquishes their so-called "right to judge" their fellow man will be the day that non-believers can look at the church and see it with a shade of respect. I believe that the church of today is not in any way, shape, or form the church that the Lord intended, and we need to revise our current way of thinking in order to correct our ways and show the world the love of Christ.
Eric May 22, 2011 at 04:54 PM
"About the gay marriage thingo-God made man to go with women, not man with man, and women with women. It just doesnt go that way! One of my friends turned "gay" and true, you dont judge, but it is wrong. People say that they cant help their feelings, but get a grip! Love, whether u like it or not, straight, bi or gay, is a choice! You may not know it , but it is! You CHOOSE who you want to marry, have children with etc. "-Pheebs Sorry Pheebs while you have been reasonable and respectful in your posts I wholeheartedly disagree with you here. I'm a straight male and have been my entire life but I never chose to be straight. While we do choose who we marry (well most of us anyways, depending on your sexual orientation and the state/country in which you reside) or have kids with, we do not choose who we love or are attracted to. Love is the perfect example. Ever had feelings for someone who didn't have them for you? It's heartbreaking and agonizing. Ever been cheated on by a significant other? It would be great to just choose to not have those feelings anymore and then BAM like- magic-no more heartbreak. What about the gay people who are effectively disowned by their intolerant religious family when they come out? I've personally seen how devastating that can be, to both parties. Wouldn't you just choose to be straight rather than lose your entire family, church, community? We may choose whether we ACT on those feelings but we don't choose to have the feelings.
Eric May 22, 2011 at 04:59 PM
Pheebs 4:58am on Sunday, May 22, 2011 Besides, if you simply trust in God, you wont have a problem like being gay-He just wont let it happen! It is because of sin that we let these things into our heads-we can help it! Well he "let" it happen to my cousin. She was an active participant in the church along with her family from birth. I know from speaking to her about this that she did and still does have faith in God. Yet she is still gay. And she struggles everyday to try and reconcile that with her faith. Not trying to change the subject but needed to get that off my chest.
Eric May 22, 2011 at 05:03 PM
To get back on track here.... Doesn't it seem odd that an all-knowing god of love and compassion would send you to hell for eternity in the afterlife for simply not believing in him during your relatively short stay here on Earth? Sounds pretty harsh to me.
Lizz May 22, 2011 at 05:12 PM
apparently you didn't read that little part in the bible that says love your neighbor as yourself. and you say your a believer??!!! If you think I'm just another idiot "Asstheist" then go look it up in that bible of yours and tell me I'm wrong. I respect your religion just as much as I respect the soul of humanity but all I'm asking is that you respect my choice.
Lizz May 22, 2011 at 05:13 PM
amen sister!! ; )
Tuesday Briggs May 22, 2011 at 05:19 PM
Praise the Lord, for if we read our bibles and do what we are to do as Christians. Then following after Jesus and having a relationship with God. We should not be fearful of the world. We should be prepared for no matter what comes. Besides, If you read your bible it says "No man knows the day nor the hour in which Jesus shall return". Have faith! Jesus is returning! If you believe in "atom", an object in which you can't see or touch but yet you know it there, then same matter believe in God who you can't see, nor touch. But yet the same God who created "Adam". Thats proof enough for me. God is real. The same God who created the stars....the same stars in the sky that David and Moses, and Jesus , Peter looked at . Those are the same stars we look at today. Difference, a new generation..and will be a new generation tomorrow. and yet they the stars exist. Tells me a lot about the God I serve. The same God sent His only son to die for my sins!!! I praise God everyday for his blessings! Have Faith and believe!!
Jesus superstar May 22, 2011 at 05:20 PM
I just don't understand how people allow these clowns to wash their brain with their nonsense. Mr. Halle lluya is such a geneous that he beat Einstein and invented a mathematical formula to predict the end of the world. LOL.......LOL........LOL........LOL. How stupid can you be to believe such nonsense, no one knows when the world is going to end, unless you know for sure a huge comet is going to hit the planet or if you have a powerful bomb that you will set off to blow the planet. I do.n't get why is people so ridiculous and allow this people who has nothing but crazy garbage in their head to brain wash you with their ridiculous predictions based in nothing but BS. This religions are nothing but a way to manipulate people and to gain money and power for the benefit of their creator. They invent rules based on their personal life styles and tastes and then they say that "IT IS THE LAW OF GOD" LOL. ridiculous people, they should be all in jail for fomenting panic to the public. This is stupidity at its best
NoOneKnows May 22, 2011 at 07:31 PM
Tuesday Briggs, I am truly sorry you have been brainwashed. I hope you get better soon. You can touch atoms, that's what were all made of. The Earth was created through Supernovas and Atoms, purely science and it's pretty easy to understand if you believe FACTS not Fairy Tales. It's the same way everything else got here in our solar system. Look up at the stars and thank them, they are the reason we are here. Everything that the Earth is made of is courtesy of Supernova's. It's all about energy.
Athiest May 22, 2011 at 08:23 PM
There is not a single book or comunity that tells an athiest what to believe, so I can not speak for all of them, just myself. I do not believe there is a man in the sky, who after my death will reward, or punnish me for the choices I made in life. I belive that will happen right here and now. If I am a judgemental cheat, and thief, I will be treated as such by most of the world. I can not expect anyone to "forgive" me, simply because I recognize a higher power. If I read a book and decide what it means to be a "real athiest", and then condemn others who disagree with my interpritation, wouldn't I be an arrogant jerk. If you do belive in god, and think you understand his will better than others, isn't that a sin? I think it might be the same sin that Camping did.
Pheebs May 22, 2011 at 11:24 PM
Dear Doctor Doom, Thanks for the comment, but yes, I'm only a teen. I have really only just gotten baptised at my church and I know that i definately dont know much. I can only attribute what I say and what I do to the name of the Lord. I've really got to say, that its very hard not to lose my cool when people rip off Christianity and the Lord, but I know that He would want me to be loving and kind and instead of getting angry, explain my faith in a gentle, simple way that really proclaims it and our Lord. Thankyou for the advice!:) Where I go to school, there are many different religions including pagans, wiccans and very devout athiests. It can be sooooo hard sometimes not to act in a way that fits in with all of them and sometimes I really struggle. I admit that I dont share the gospel as much as I should and I would really appreciate prayer, cuz I am definately not perfect! Thankyou very much though and God bless you!
Mark May 23, 2011 at 01:13 AM
People have been predicting the end of the world since the beginning, people from every religion and scientific persausion. If they stop predicting the end that's probably the time to worry. btw NoOneKnows LOL, you can't touch atoms. We can't even see atoms. They actually are theoretical, good theory mind you, they most likely do exist, but if you believe in evolution and then you need to understand that your theory is as religious and hypothetical as any other. Evolution is faith in a whole collection of beliefs, the vast majority of which are theories. I don't blame you or condemn you, it's a decent set of theories some of which I believe and support, just lose the arrogance. You are religious like the rest if us. Your priests wear white lab coats and your god is science. Again I don't blame for your beliefs but your arrogance is sad, prejudicial, and supremist.
Pheebs May 23, 2011 at 01:18 AM
Eric, something similar happened happened to one of my friends. Do you know if she actually was a Christian. She may have been a doer and not a believer (not meaning to criticise or sound judgemetal) Tell her to pray and ask her family/Christian friends to pray for her. She may just"thnk" is is gay because of some random feeligs/thought she has. This is actually-believe it or not-what hapens in most cases. I will pray for you and your cousin that all that will get sorted out> God bless and take care.
Pheebs May 23, 2011 at 01:25 AM
So are you saying that the Big Bang is how we were created-that we are all accidents, we are maningles mistakes? Isnt it easier to believe that we are special and meaningful-created individual God who designed you down to the very last cell-rather than beating ourselves up and searching for a "purpose" in life over he fact that we are mistakes? I dont know about you, but I know my purpose and I love the fact that I was designed uniquely. I used to struggle with very low self-esteem-I hated the way I looked and acted I figured that I was simpley a accident in this universe-that I had no purpose. But now I can see that God created me specially-He thought about me an dmy life as He designed me- I am not mistake-I am loved!
UCHENNA May 23, 2011 at 02:06 AM
Okay That's enough now, much comment said and well expressed, thank you and now let's come to a conclusion - Now here is a true story about my past. I used to "enjoy" my life like 'Truth teller' may put it, although I was raised in a Religious (Christan) home, how I feel that pain when I was told to pray to God when things are not right, but how do I get off it since I wasn't from such a world (never believed in prayers, pray to whom? God?) I thought I got comfort by taking up hard drugs, but I was still into it, adding up to my problems. One day, 22nd March, 2010. of a blessed memory, I was lured by someone (never considered him as a friend then) to a night virgin. Before then, I had an accident and it resulted to a broken finger. that night, The man of God prayed in the name of Jesus, and as he prayed, he instructed everyone to touch a part in the body. I raised that broken finger up in believe for a miracle because I wanted to witness one for myself. Whole and behold!!! "yes exactly what you thinking", it was a miracle in the name of Jesus. To cut the story short, I accepted Jesus into my heart that night, and since then I have found peace. Now I am assured of one thing, if there is no God what has cause that sudden change in me? I quited drugs, I never thought I would do without it. THERE IS GOD UP THERE IN HEAVEN AND HE IS WATCHING US, and He will pure out His wrath soon. ESCAPE IT
Pheebs May 23, 2011 at 02:43 AM
Amen! God bless you UCHENNA!!!
amanda perfetti May 23, 2011 at 05:50 AM
hes the laughing stock of the whole worl how fucking stupid can some people be hes nothing but an insaNE IDIOT!!!!!!
God May 23, 2011 at 07:18 AM
Hey guys it's me, God. I just wanted to drop a line after reading your silly little discussion. You are both right. I do exist, along with all my bros, but we don't really care about what you do on that earth of yours, so enjoy yourselves. And don't worry about any of that heaven or hell stuff cause one of you guys just made all that up. Anyhoo...please stop asking us for things, because we actually can hear it and it's pretty annoying. Peace, (in the middle east) remember when you guys used to say that. We always cracked up. Cool, I'm out.
Purpose May 23, 2011 at 08:52 AM
God- Thank you for that, pure awesomeness. Pheebs- Why can't one have a purpose in life without believing in a divine plan? My purpose is to leave this world and the people I love a better place with my brief existence. Having and loving a child is all the purpose needed. Reproducing, spreading my genes, and creating better versions of myself. Hopefully, the ripple effect leads to a better world and society. I don't need faith to appreciate this life and world or fill some hole that you, Pheebs, seem to have when you ponder the question of existence. Evolution is fact. You have no proof of an omniscient, omnipotent, judging, caring, Anglo-Saxon, christian god. You have someone telling you to believe, which, to me, seems lazy, cowardly, and sad to blindly follow. And you show your age and ignorance when you say that homosexuality is a choice. But, you mean well. Much love. Bill- Beautiful statement. It amazes me how religious folk shrink away from pure intellectual dialogue and resort to the grand scapegoat words: Faith and Belief. Ok. So, everyone knows that the Bible is a series of compiled writings. Certain books were picked and chosen by early catholic cardinals around 300AD. Does that historical FACT not concern you die hard believers? The earliest new testament gospel was written two generations after the death of jesus. Two generations of word of mouth, two thousand years ago, in the MIDDLE EAST. And we all know how pervasively ignorant that culture and region still is.
Pheebs May 23, 2011 at 09:19 AM
Dear purpose, You say that I have a hole in my life, especially with the issue of existence. The truth is, I was once like you-I thought my purpose in life was to just grow up, fall in love and get married. Unfortunately, that created a hole in my life. I thought it could fill me up, but it didnt. No amount of dreaming, planning or thinking could fill it the emptiness that had gradually started to set in. The problem with evolution is that it basically says that we are all monkeys, just a little more advance. I dont know about you, but to me, that seems just sad and a little creepy. I truly believe that God Himself designed each and every-one of us for His divine purpose. He created us specially, not shaped us out of monkeys! His will/purpose for us in life is to have a personal and awesome relationship with Him, and one day, actually join Him for eternal life, happiness and perfection. Oh, nobody is telling me to believe at all! My parents are Christians, and they taught me about Jesus, but they-or anybody else- could make me follow Him. It was my own choice. I heard, I listened, I received, I believed and now I follow. And to tell you the truth, I've never been happier! If my faith was false or I was simply told to believe it, I wouldnt be so joyful about it. Christianity is a faith that, unlike other religions such as Catholicism or Islam, involves a God that cares and a human that is actually happy to follow their God. I hope that explains that ok:)
SAJ May 23, 2011 at 10:39 AM
Hey pastors and whoever are predicting the end of the world !!! stop this please.......dont come out with ur own time and date for judgement day and stuff and give the terrorrists on this earth a good day to blow things up and making it look like a judgement day stuff..... who the hell are u to decide all this when the day comes it will come.. so stop scaring innocent people,coz we all live in reality and love each other and are bond in so many different relationship with our loved once,and dont want to have a feeling that this all is over.... GOD IS LOVE WHERE LOVE IS GOD IS... so stop stop stop it .................... SAJ
Melodye May 23, 2011 at 12:14 PM
I truly believe this may be another Jim Jones sitiuation and many people will suffer from being gullable and not knowing the true world of the Old Testement. I really think the goverment should step in and take his positions from him to help those people who believed in him. It is amazing how he spent 140,000.00 and made over 10 million dollars. Please read the bible if you truely want to learn about our creator and what is to come of this World that MAN have destroyed.
Kayley May 24, 2011 at 02:52 AM
I can't find the comment I was going to reply to but all the unbelievers/ Aitheist who say how can you beleive that it is "impossible" you think thats impossible then what do you think happened it takes so much more faith to believe what you do than to believ the truth of the Bible:) I will pray for all of you God bless! Have a very blessed day!
Kayley May 24, 2011 at 03:08 AM
The scripures may be"second hand" but they weren't just randomly written they were inspired by God.
Kayley May 24, 2011 at 03:17 AM
I can't believe you were brave enough to mock God. That's wrong and hateful. You blaspheme God and think there will be no punishment? Wow, have you got another thing coming to you.... You are going straight to hell in the mindset you have but there is always a chance for you to come to God so I will be praying for you to see the truth
Kayley May 24, 2011 at 03:21 AM
only one person knows and that is God, Jesus doesn't even know yet!
Facts Are Truth! May 25, 2011 at 05:20 PM
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." - Albert Einstein
God May 25, 2011 at 11:31 PM
Oh Kayley, it's not mocking when I, the almighty, am actually addressing you, the meek. There is also no need for bravery on anyone's behalf to mock me, "the one" (which is honestly a title I don't care for because its not just me out here and when everyone else hears you guys call me that - it gets awkward). I can understand your confusion. A lot of the stories you all made up about me had me being vague and "speaking" to you in strange ways. Just thought I'd set the record straight and let you know that I have never communicated with anyone down there before now, so it's ok for you to feel honored Kayley. Also, it would be a good idea to not hinder your behavior in any way from here on out because the only consequences you'll deal with are the ones that you create. Usually, they come from treating others like shit. And if you die you die. At that time you were the weakest. I had nothing to do with it. I wasn't coming to get you and you won't be joining me anywhere. That's how it works. I also don't care about your sports games. I don't need a thank you every time you win something and never understood why you guys never blamed me when you lost. You are really putting me up on a pedestal up here and like I said - awkward. So, just a couple words to the wise - try to not be the weakest and don't treat people like shit. I'm not really supposed to get involved, but that should get you through another couple millennia. God - out like trout.
Kayley May 26, 2011 at 02:24 AM
Whoever you really are I am not gonna stand in your place before the real God one day but you will suffer the consequences. I am sorry that you are so lost and dying to go straight to hell to burn for eternity I have done as the real true and only God has commanded to get to heaven, to accept him as my saviour. Your blood will not be on my hands. I have tried to help you but you are just being stubborn.
God May 27, 2011 at 12:39 PM
Kayley remember there is no "hell". There is also no "heaven". You can choose to scare yourself into making the correct desicions through your life, but don't think I'm guiding you because I'm not. It's all you. And when you're done you're done. There is no more "life" after that. So live it like it's your last. Cause it is. Threatening people isn't a good start. Remember that part about treating people like shit. It's behavior like that that help you to an early death. Sooner or later you'll make another one of you mad enough to end you. And when you end will you blame yourself or me? God - take her easy and if she's easy take her twice.


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